Introduction*

Why?

Excellent question. I’m glad I asked it. Those who have decided to wander from the comfort of ‘accepted’ rules of grammar to the more daring aspect are wondering why yet another book was written about the subject. It’s not that I think the current structure is wrong, but I do think the structure can be improved slightly.

Have you ever wondered why there are so many texts about grammar and composition? I can sum it in one fragment: because everyone’s version is the best one. If I’m writing a book (and I am), then my book is the best. If Phred is writing a book, then his book is the best. Right? The only difference between one text and another is that one is more widely accepted than the other—that might be a result of publishing politics, money, or both. Then, you ask, ‘What’s so different about your book?’ Well, that’s a tricky question deserving a double-answer:

1. Much of this book was written using other sources, which I am happy to cite as ideas and references that are not my own. So, this text is written primarily through other texts with an occasional pang wrought by my own dry wit and occasionally useful input.
2. Grammar is defined as ‘the characteristic system of inflections and syntax of a language’. And what is syntax? It is the logical order of words. Then what is grammar as a whole? It is the logical use of the ‘inflections and syntax of a language’. It is my goal to provide for you the most logical structure of grammar and mechanics by using common sense (oxymoron) and analysis. I did not include exercises for any of the sections because they are not only time consuming but also subjective in the learning process; however, I will provide enough examples so that you can have a practical application.

If I didn’t answer the question of ‘what’s so different about my book’ to your satisfaction, suck it up. This is only the introduction. Move into the meat and potatoes. Ah, I almost forgot. You’re probably wondering: For which audience was this text written? My method of teaching is a bit risqué at times, so I think this text would be better suited for an older audience (high school and university level). I’m hesitant to recommend this text for the ‘typical’ high school student as I recall the collection of heathens in my high school Latin class and cringe when I think about the outbursts that occurred when our teacher shouted: ‘Tempus fugit!’ I don’t know if it was the rich texture of the language as it rolled off our teacher’s tongue or if it was the looming possibility of a Freudian slip with the pronunciation of ‘fugit’, but my classmates became restless (similar to that of a skunk, sometimes equally pungent, in heat) during every outset—a warning to any high school instructor considering this text. The comprehension level of this text elevates as you naturally progress through the chapters. I will begin with the basics and move into the complexities. Enjoy!

*Throughout the text I will be using standard, informal English. However, my illustrations and references will be standard, formal English so that the text can be applied to both teachers and students.